Angela Gilmour, LCSW
I work with adults, couples, and families
MY FOCUS
I have a heart for highly sensitive, deeply thoughtful clients. You’re the canaries in the coal mine. You see the needs of your family and community that others miss. You spend so much energy trying to meet those needs, often to your own detriment. You long for deep connections but often feel “too much” for people. Guilt is a constant companion. You try avoiding conflict but then it all comes out sideways. You find yourself numbing with alcohol, TV, shopping, or eating. Your body is showing the effects of these coping strategies, which only adds to the shame you feel. If you resonate with some of these statements, I may be a good fit for you.
my values
-
Most of us emphasize one or the other. But God is both 100% of the time. I find most of my clients have been in environments that highly value truth at the expense of grace. And this causes so much damage. I love Timothy Keller’s quote, “Truth without grace is not really truth and grace without truth is not really grace.”
-
I’ve always struggled with black and white thinking. As I have grown in my faith and maturity, I see the world really struggles when we have difficulty holding both seeming opposing perspectives. This is the root of a lot of division in our families and faith communities. Healing relationships includes being able to meet multiple needs at the same time. I work with couples and families to build this capacity to be better able to hold more compassionate and nuanced views of each other.
-
I love this quote from Peter Scazzero, “Emotional health and spiritual maturity are inseparable". I work with a lot of Christians who have been deeply harmed by family, friends, or faith leaders that appear spiritually mature but have severe difficulties regulating their emotions. Their personal relationships are deeply unhealthy. They are usually deeply wounded themselves but haven’t healed these wounds so they “bleed” over everyone in their spheres. We need emotionally healthy faith in our families and churches.
EDUCATION, Publication, & Advanced training
Bachelor of Social Work, Indiana University, 1994
Master of Social Work, Washington University in St. Louis, 1995
Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Virginia, since 2002
Christian Counseling Courses at Covenant Theological Seminary in St. Louis, 1994-95
Co-author of Untangled: Running our race without being sidelined by emotions
Advanced Training in Attachment Science, Interpersonal Neurobiology, Internal Family Systems, Somatic Experiencing, Narcissistic Abuse, Story Work & Confessional Community Groups, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Schema Therapy, Over/Under-functioning Couples, Spiritual Harm, Spiritual Formation, Myers-Briggs, and Enneagram.
My Approach
I've battled enough of my own difficulties to know simple solutions for complicated problems just don't work. Through my experiences, I've found tools that truly bring healing and change. I apply my knowledge and education through the lens of my faith, professional training, and personal experiences.
I am a Christian and I approach therapy with that foundation and perspective. At the same time, not all my clients share my belief system, and I am very sensitive to that. I meet each person where they are. I also have experienced harm from other Christians who are supposed to love and lead us well. I am comfortable walking alongside you amid all those difficulties.
I love people's stories. I love to see how God wired them and help them see that as well. I am a little obsessed with tools like Myers-Briggs and Enneagram that allow us to really embrace the way God designed us. It impacts our relationships, career and finding our purpose in so many ways.
MY SPECIALTIES
-
There are so many factors that can impact our relationships including attachment wounds, trauma, mistaking differences for deficits, communication struggles, and difficulty regulating our emotions. These factors contribute to unhealthy patterns and dynamics such as over-functioning/ under-functioning partnerships, anxious/avoidant partnerships, high control or overly permissive parenting, and shame/blame family culture.
-
Most of us know about “Big T” trauma such as intimate partner violence, childhood abuse, and rape but we can also experience many “Little T” traumas which can be much more subtle but impact the brain in a similar way. These may include divorce, bullying, and serious illness. Complex trauma is ongoing, sustained trauma. Examples include ongoing child abuse/neglect, sustained and repeated racism, multiple losses, and chronic illnesses. Learn more.
-
Have you been told, "You're too sensitive!" or "You're so shy!"? Or perhaps you find yourself saying those things to a spouse, child or friend. Sensitivity can feel like a huge liability in life. However, it can be a gift if we understand how to utilize it while protecting ourselves in a world that can feel overwhelming. Learn more.
-
Social anxiety is more than just shyness. You may have an intense fear of talking to a salesperson or giving a speech but may be comfortable in other similar settings. Or you may become anxious during routine activities such as starting a conversation with a stranger or a person in authority, participating in meetings or classes, or dating and attending parties.
-
Whether it was a pastor, a church leader, or other Christians including our family members, many of us have felt hurt by people “in the name of God”. We are left sorting out Who is God? And how do we heal from some of “Christian Culture” that is anything but Christian? How can we heal from those wounds and still find Jesus in the end? While the term “deconstructing” has been charged, many are struggling to untangle the hurt and disillusioned feelings left from unhealthy spiritual environments. We are forming a group for those who’ve been experienced spiritual harm. Learn more.
-
Transitions are hard. Whether you are a new graduate or retiree, a new parent or empty nester, a new kid in the neighborhood or the last one to move, change involves loss. Transitions can fill us with fear of the future and sadness of losing parts of our past. Having help navigating all these feelings can ease these transitions and set us up for success in our new world.
I work with many general issues including anxiety, depression, self-worth, parenting, and finding purpose. I also have developed extensive experience in the issues above.
SOME QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE
-
For the initial appointment, the cost is $185. Each follow-up appointment is $165. For extended sessions of 90 minutes, the cost is $248.
-
I am currently an in-network provider for MOST CareFirst Blue Cross Blue Shield plans. For all other insurances, I can provide you with all the necessary documentation so you can file for reimbursement with your plan if you have out of network coverage.
-
For those who can demonstrate a financial difficulty or need, I am able to offer a 30% discount for a limited number of clients. We also offer a discount for pastors, their families, and ministry workers.
-
A lot of people feel weird or uncomfortable about coming to counseling, especially for the first time. We get it and we do everything we can to help you feel more comfortable. Part of what helps us in a new situation is knowing what to expect. The first session is unique. We have a set of questions that we ask everyone BUT our main goal for our first time together is to find out why you are coming and what your are goals for counseling. We will ask you lots of background questions as well. We ask about your physical and mental health history, family background, job situation, current family make-up, etc. At the end of session one or two, we'll identify some goals to work on and the order to tackle each issue. Each session after that, We start with a list of "checking in" questions. For example, "How has your mood been?", "On a scale of 1-10, how would your rate your anxiety? Depression? conflict with family? etc." Then we'll identify what you need to talk about. At the end of the session, we'll sum up what insights we've learned in our discussion and identify some tools that might help until we meet again. We may offer a book to read or workbook. Or perhaps connecting with a good friend, taking some time alone, etc. If you have any questions, we're happy to answer them.
-
Christian counseling integrates clinically grounded therapy with the client’s faith, values, and spiritual beliefs when desired. Therapy can help clients process emotional struggles while also exploring how faith, identity, relationships, and spiritual experiences intersect. We understand the term can be confusing. Read more to learn more about what we mean by Christian Counseling and what we don’t.